On my side, the Christmas name-drawing means our family has to shop for two people. We'll also get a present for my nephew. So that's three.
On Hubs' side, we've been given a list of eight.
Tonight, as I stressed over finances and a Christmas budget, I scanned Hubs' list of this year's names.
Brandon.
Brandon?
Who the hell is Brandon?
I've heard the name ... think, Cathy, think ...
Oh, yeah.
Brandon is my brother-in-law's wife's son-in-law.
We've never met this Brandon person. He's never been at any family gatherings. Neither has his wife. We've never met her either.
But we're supposed to buy Christmas presents for these people, including my brother-in-law's grandkids.
We cannot afford it.
Hubs has asked his brother -- who organizes the drawing each year -- to either abandon the practice or at least pare it down a little. After all, we don't even know some of these people we're buying gifts for year after year.
But oh no, it's family tradition and blah, blah, blah...
Even at a $20 minimum per person, we easily spend $200 a year on this one name-drawing, due to the number of names we're given.
I hate it. It makes me bitter and resentful. I'm pissed off every second that we're shopping and buying stupid alarm clocks for young adult people we never see or hear from.
This year, after my latest panic attack, Hubs put a call into his brother's house to tell him we just can't keep doing this.
If I hear Hubs caving, you will hear my shrieking from here to Canada.
And now I'm going to go refill my wineglass.
23 comments:
For people you've never even met? Yeah, that's just wrong.
um, no.
This isn't what it's about and if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Period.
I'm so sorry Cathy. That sucks. Be firm and don't let hubster be guilted into doing it anyway.
Cheers! Heidi
That totally sucks, that does. We pick names for my husband's family and in addition, we get each of the (grown) kids something (like, uh, MONEY...lol).
We each get only one person. Which is nice.
Eight people makes the picking a bit pointless, no?
I agree. The holidays can get so expensive. My hubs family is huge too. If we didn't draw names we'd be in BIG trouble.
I'm right there with you. My favorite day of the year is 12/26, because it is the day of the year when Christmas is the farthest away.
And you know what? I used to love it.
we had a similar situation but we went to a small drawing. It is still expensive. Especially resentful-making is my husband's stepbrother's kids, who we barely know.
Oh I am so with you. That is just wrong.
I can COMPLETELY relate.
Oh the things I cannot say online are strangling me.
Just know I understand and 100% support your position.
It's what kills Christmas for me and so many.
Julie
Using My Words
Good for your husband - you should not be buying gifts for people you don't even know and even those you do - you should be able to always choose who you want to buy for. So glad he stood up to his family. Take care. Kellan
Does that equate to you guys receiving 8 presents?
It really sucks. We do our own immediate family ONLY. Someone did do the whispers about drawing names thing once, but I cannot afford to buy presents often - I make - and as such, I want to show those I care for that I do, not a fiscal transaction.
Oh dear. Awful. I don't even buy a present for my sister in law, let alone some distant relation of hers. Good luck resolving that one.
So far, the only time my family does a drawing like that is when we all come home for Christmas... And we are ONLY given names of people who will be there...
I enjoy the tradition, the way my family does it.
I would be pissed if I had to buy for someone I never met.
Ohhhh, I'm frustrated for you. That would tick me off and bring out Queen Screwge in me too.
It has gotten out of hand. For me, I'm stepping back and reevaluating my commitments, even the present buying commitments. Like those people need another crap gift and you want to throw money away on a crap gift? Someone has to stop the insanity....
What about making an overall donation to a charity you'd like to support in the entire family's name? Just an idea. Or make your stand and say NO. I'm behind you!
Seriously? You're buying for strangers?
WRONGNESS!
I hate this gift-buying mania, anyway. I'm so sorry for your budget. My budget is currently in a bar, drinking alone because we have slashed her by almost 70% from last year.
Okay, that's just ridiculous. You should not have to buy gifts for people you don't even know, family or not.
I feel like having a glass, okay bottle, of wine just reading this.
Jennifer, Le Binky Bitch
Give them each a Clay Aiken CD.
They'll never ask you to contribute a gift again.
So that creepy noise I heard was you screaming?
That totally sucks. Christmas always seems to get so out of hand. I certainly have enough people to buy for without buying for strangers.
Effing ridiculous.
andi from Poot and Cubby
Bunch of crap. As you know.
I do like the Clay Aiken idea.
a few years back we gave up ALL gifts between adults. If we feel we must, we donate to a charity in their name - and gramps [81 and gets more tickled than the little ones] doesn't count.
It's just all for the kids.
Aw, man, that stinks! The whole present thing can get so nuts. And stupid.
I hate that about Christmas, and somehow it feels like there's something like that every year, no matter how hard I work to avoid it. Good luck, I hope you guys manage to stay out of it this year.
Feeling your pain (and refilling my wine glass, too).
That sucks!
In our family my issue is the list my SIL gives us - I cannot afford the gifts she puts on it for my own kids, let alone hers - who live in Germany and I see once every 3 years!
I wish we could all go back to the real meaning of Christmas!
Thanks for sharing.
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