Yes, I, too, am a thieving, lazy, disreputable and soon-to-be stubbly mom

This is really a way-behind, near-forgotten meme masked as an original post because I'm just too ... busy, swamped, lazy? ... to come up with anything creative on my own.

So, Damselfly tagged me, oh, weeks ago, for the eight-things-about-me meme that's been drifting through the blogosphere, and because I am a procrastinating sort of person (hence, the reason my job revolves around, you know, deadlines) I'm just now getting around to it.

OK, and also OTJ's Mother of all Memes kind of scared me. Like maybe one day, I, too, will understand the intricacies of the last meme of her Monster Meme. And I can't decide whether I should be allowed to possess that kind of knowledge and special power.

But I'm stalling.

So — Eight Things About Me

1.) Despite my incompetence in certain areas of personal hygiene, I have to shave my legs EVERY DAY because I can't stand to feel my own stubble. (Which is why the stubble that will result from Sunday's disaster is going to send me spinning into a vicious new cycle of personal maintenance, and, no doubt, I will find myself begging some frightening, lecturing Helga creature for a very personal wax. ("Vhat happened here?" she will ask after assessing the damage. And I will cringe in shame and terror, more so than when I had to face the stylist after cutting my own bangs up to my hairline.)


2.) Despite my obsession with leg-hair removal, I've never tweezed or waxed my eyebrows.

3.) I once climbed into an itty-bitty plane with a Texas crop duster, minutes after he showed me pictures of his numerous flying accidents, one of them involving a power line, and admitted that his nickname around town was "Crash."

4.) I can peel and eat these —



and these—




and maybe even these —



by the dozen.

5.) In 1996, I was some poor sap's Worst Blind Date Ever. I won't get into the specifics, but the night involved too many tequila shots and ... deleted due to lingering embarrassment.

6.) When doctors say you can't have an epidural at 9 cm, they LIE.

7.) It takes every bit of self-restraint I can muster to avoid using the word "Google" during a doctor's visit, and the only reason I try is because my former ob/gyn started describing me as "the lady who likes to research things" and the pediatrician once felt compelled to read aloud every single ingredient of my child's flu shot, just to make me shut up and leave his office.

8.) I, too, have been guilty of overlooking what I consider accidental transgressions, simply because once I've managed to cram two cranky children into their respective car seats, driven home and unloaded said children and groceries, I'm not about to return to the scene of the crime so that a bored store clerk can wrest away a cheap rubber toy from my shrieking offspring, who really should be napping. Which is why I say:




(Oh, and I'm not tagging anyone because I'm pretty sure I'm the last person to get around to this one.)