I want names. Numbers. Embarrassing details I can use for blackmailing purposes.
Who *splutter* is responsible for this?
I refer to this horrible trend.
'Tis the season of ambiguity, it seems. Hark! Who's pregnant? Who's not? Who can tell?
Designers: My lingering post-baby pooch already causes confusion.
Is she? I can't tell. Maybe.
I am not pregnant. Therefore, I do not wish to look pregnant.
What are you people thinking?
Are you perhaps catering to the scrawny actresses with protruding collar bones who think looking pregnant would be ... oh, I don't know ... a novelty?
NOTE TO SKELETAL ACTRESSES: The baby belly is typically accompanied by a baby ass. You do not have an ass. You, therefore, can get away with the tunic — although people are going to assume you're an anorexic whose disease is endangering your pretend baby. Now if I were to don a tunic, my non-pregnant (got that? NOT PREGNANT! I'M NOT PREGNANT!) belly and *ahem* healthy ass would take up so much room and cloth that the tunic would cease to be a tunic. It would instead resemble a clingy half-shirt.
The tunic wasn't meant for the masses. Because if you have even the slightest bit of a tummy, people will assume that a happy little bundle of non-sleeping joy is on the way.
Who wants an implied baby bump when there is no baby?
On the bright side, I'm thinking my maternity shirts — if cleverly described as tunics — might do very well on Ebay.
16 comments:
I'm so happy for my SIL though - she'll be able to stay in regular shirts her entire pregnancy ....
AMEN on the fashion sense. Who WANTS to look pregnant? Geez.
Oh my god you just cracked me up
You know what the funniest thing is? All those skinny actresses and models who got enhanced bosoms for fashion will HATE this style - you need little tits to not look like a buffalo in such styles.
Ha - doesn't do me much good as I always look like a buffalo in fashion, but the fact that they will join me gives me some relief.
As a preggo I'm loving the trend. I don't have to buy (as many) expensive maternity clothes this go 'round. I just buy the stuff off the regular racks and they work well. Neato!
You know? I hated the shirts, too, until one fine day, I just didn't feel like holding my stomach in, and ta-dah: not so bad anymore! Of course, the satiny one with the bow wouldn't help anything. Ever.
Good GAWD, I went into Old Navy today to shop for my son, and of course, had to peek in the ladies' department. It was horrible. And all kinds of 80's crap coming back, like batwing sleeves and cowl necks. UGH!
I kind of think it would be awesome if Halle Berry bought some of my old preggers crap off of eBay. Not that she would. Not that she'd NEED to.
I just think it would be awesome.
Because she's hot.
And I could laugh at her wearing my old tents.
Hm?
Haven't you heard? Pregnant is the new anorexic. It's all the rage (ha!)
ALSO note to skeletal fashion models, baby belly is ALSO accompanied by baby GAS, which is rarely appreciated and NEVER replicated. Just so ya know.
terrible and do away with the skinny jean while you are at it!!
i know. what. the. hell.
It's such a pendulum, isn't it? Not that long ago, the fashion was tight belly-baring shirts. Now this.
On the other hand, this is a great time in fashion if you *are* pregnant.
I know. But that adorable shirt calling my name at J.Crew won the battle and I bought it anyway.
I've worn it once.
It really is humiliating.
Hahaha! But being pregnant: I LOVE this trend!
"I wore my regular clothes until I was nine months pregnant!"
Amen!
And the babydoll shirt? Great for pregnancy but - again - I don't want to look pregnant when I'm not!
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