As of today, May 7, 2007, we are through.
Why?
Because when I called to refill my birth control pills, you told me you were out. And so were the FIVE surrounding stores.
Oh, c'mon. I live in Arkansas. We breed, chug beer, do a little birthin' -- and you're telling me that, suddenly, an unprecedented number of us decided to break rank and -- gasp! -- seek contraceptives?!
And that as a result your vast pharmaceutical coffers are empty?
I think not.
I mean, the only reason I'm on the pill is because I've gotta lose the extra 30 pounds before I brave another nine months of peanut M&M cravings.
Oh, yeah, and the anti-crazy pills -- not ready to give those up quite yet, you know.
And of course, there's the small matter of being able to afford a third child. Ha. Ha-ha. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
But my fellow Arkansans -- ye of the birthing hips designed for lugging small children while grasping a ciggie in one hand and a Bud Lite in the other -- you, YOU too have decided to become anti-ovulatory?
I'll be gol-darned. And here I thought I had a corner on the contraceptives market.
So. Well. Looks like a particuarly frustrating month awaits the Hubs.
I, on the other hand, might actually make it through the five library books I optimistically checked out a week ago.
1 comment:
I am so sorry. I hope Hubs doesn't take tonight to be one of those 'crawl on top of you and suck on your boobs' nights (Thanks for the comment; I'm kinda proud to have made that statement!).
I hate to admit it but I was dying laughing at this post... I hope I didn't just jinx myself because we're definitely not ready for #3!
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