(written by the E-man, age 3)
Step One: Complain upon waking from nap that something is in your eye. Refuse to open eye. Do NOT smirk as Mommy Googles "toddler eye pain" and "scratched cornea." Keep eye closed for the next hour. Maintain squint even when Daddy insists on herding you and siblings out the door for the planned photo shoot. Just remember, you will show him who's boss very, very soon.
Step Two: Make sure your eye pain is evident in photos. This has the added benefit of ensuring you maintain a proper, non-photogenic grimace.
Step 3: Look to your right...
Step 4: Look to your left...
Step 5: Recapture grimace and ignore Daddy's pleas to look at the camera. (Note that brother and one sister are beginning to show the strain. Heh.)
Step 6: Ignore Mommy's stupid antics. She is not funny. Note that oldest sister also appears to be losing patience. She is no match for the E-man.
Step 7: Intensify scowl. Keep ignoring Mommy, who is now pretending to be a monkey. THEY CANNOT BREAK YOU!!
Step 8: Don't let them catch you off-guard with a change of scene. You aren't so easily fooled. Why does my mother persist in acting like such an idiot? Clearly, she is suffering from some sort of crazed belief that she is Carol Burnett reinvented.)
Step 9: Realize that parents are annoyingly persistent creatures. When they make you stand behind the stupid tree, pucker your face to show contempt for this blindingly obvious maneuver.
Step 10: Wait until after the group has disbanded before flashing a look of triumph toward the camera.
17 comments:
It's 7 am here, the kids are sleeping - or rather they were until I burst out laughing at these shots.
I've been there and it isn't fun at the time, but MAN it makes for a good blog post!!
The kids - big and small - are all gorgeous! :)
Heidi
Hahaha! Great series of pictures, great post! Your poor husband.
These wee people live to thwart us! I can't remember the last time I got a decent pic of my two together.
I love the first picture - so classic!
OH NO! Is he OK? Good grief, it's always something, huh?
The pictures are priceless. It must really pay to have a professional photographer for a dad. Except during high school graduation ceremonies, I reckon.
So this is what I have to look forward to if I decide to try my hand in portrait photography, huh? Oh boy.
Sure is a group of gorgeous/adorable kids you've got there, though.
A) I hope he's okay
B) Adorable group of kids (particularly as they lose interest!)
C) The running commentary cracked me up! LOL!
Oh my hell, I think I hurt my spleen. Your older kid's expressions were killing me.
that's why all my pictures of my kids are taken while they're sleeping.
I can feel your pain. We finally got some good shots of the kids 2 months ago. A professional photographer and his wife came to the kid's preschool and I wasn't there.
I think my kids do better in pictures when I'm not there. When I am there I think they can sense my tension and frustration and I think they enjoy that! :)
These are cute pictures. Years from now you can give him a hard time about the squinting!
Sometimes, 3 out of 4 is good enough. I can't even get 3 to all look in the same direction at the same time!
He is, even with his squinty eye, awfully cute.
Oh, too funny! I think getting four to even be facing forward at the same time would be a feat!
Oh, please don't let him write a book. It would be a bestseller. Toddlers and preschoolers everywhere would pick up these tips and start a cult.
That is awesome... and exactly how the little devils operate. I love those photos!
Hahahaha! Awesome post! Such beautiful scenery you choose for the photos. You have a BEAUTIFUL family.
I know I'm supposed to be concentrating on E-man's silly picture escapades but what I'm really thinking is "Wow. That is one GORGEOUS family!!" and look at that timber in the house... phew!! See? I'm a totally unreliable blog reader/commenter.
:)
Rachael
OMG that is SO 3! I am LMAO (in shared amusement and sympathy).
Whew glad to see I am not the only one (Rachael too). I was distracted by your daughter---because my girls have the same sundress! Also by the lovely setting and beautiful family, despite antics!
Now just imagine this pain but add in ten other small children who happen to be nieces and nephews.
One of whom is an adorable Down's girl and two others who are toddler demons.
Add to this a small room, an inept Sears photographer and parents (who are your inlaws) who abandon the process to YOU because you happen to draw the short straw every damn time.
Try getting 13 children from ages 12 to two looking in the same direction, smiling and not poking at one another, vomiting, crying or whining while the underpaid minimum wage employee silently puts a pox on your head.
We do this every October.
I facking hate October.
But your kids are cute. And so worth the pain. Right???
Heh.
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