As many times as I've snapped at him tonight, how can he still think he's getting the bow-chicka-bow-wow treatment later? That portion of the male anatomy must zap millions of brain cells every time it goes on high alert.
Has my son always possessed such a piercing scream?
Why did Hubs think it was a good idea to let our daughter watch some History Channel dinosaur program in which a newly hatched baby dino is consumed by giant ants? And why is he surprised that she is now afraid to go sleep because she might dream about carnivorous insects?
Dear God: If Hubs' ex-wife is ever again going to ask us to help buy a car for my unemployed stepson, please let her call tonight. And please let me be the one to answer the phone.
P.S. If the firemen ever have to come back to our house, please let my bedroom be clean. Oh, and if I could be wearing something cute (like clothes) as opposed to my raggedy flannel PJs, that would be mighty nice too.
Do nipples get bigger in proportion to boob sag? Because something's gone wildly awry here? All I know is none of the parts are where I last saw 'em.
21 comments:
This, btw, is going to be pasted to the top of my computer monitor:
"As many times as I've snapped at him tonight, how can he still think he's getting the bow-chicka-bow-wow treatment later? That portion of the male anatomy must zap millions of brain cells every time it goes on high alert."
Ha ha ha. Sounds like it's time to take a Midol and call it a day.
Hmmmmm my boob are older than yours and my nipples etc are the same as they were after childbearing. Nursing those boys did a number on 'em.
You are so funny! I too - am afraid of carnivorous insects - large ones that eat dinasaurs!
Have a good day tomorrow. It's late - I'm going to bed. Kellan
Ack, Cathy. One of those days when you really just want that period to get here -- so things can look brighter in the morning (and so hubster will stop *nagging*). I hear ya!
Heidi
I have to agree with Paige... that comment is priceless!
I saw my husband crystal clear with the bow chicka wow wow comment and the letting of kids watch what they shouldn't.
And I laughed.
And was thankful: THANK GOD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING!
This post leaves me with only two words: Ugh! and Ha!
OMG the nipple thing had me HOWLING
I *am* sorry yo laugh at your expense but lol!
No, I'm laughing WITH you STG!
The phone thing. Oh yeah I have so fantasized about going ballistic and luckily for us all, the factors rarely come together at the wrong moments. :)
Haha! I too have similar PMS thoughts!
pms sure is awesome, isn't it?? :)
Can you make this a monthly feature on your blog? :)
Thank God it's not just my husband, my kids or my damn nipples.
LOL. After all, misery does love company. Especially a miserable PMS'ing woman with a horny husband, kids and body parts that would induce nightmares for all teenagers if they knew what was going to happen to themselves or their spouses in the future...
Is it wrong that this sounds like me, even on non-PMS days?
I am glad to read that your hubby seems to have the same brain as mine...
You kill me!
That first one is something I've pondered way too many times!
I'm with ya' all the way.
HILARIOUS...I love pms driven posts...they are GREAT.
Stop! You killed me with the nipples comment. How have I not read you before?!
Love it, as the first post i have read on your blog im just wanting to read more. Just LOVE LOVE the first remark
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