Sunday, January 20, 2008

I may be barefoot, but I don't want the backwoods.

On the occasional weekend, Hubs and I have been scouting out area towns in his quest to find a rural home.

The more we look, the more opposed I am to this idea.

Do. Not. Want. To. Live. In. A. Forest.

(My idea of country living involves rolling green meadows, dotted with clusters of towering shade trees and a two-story newly renovated farmhouse with all the modern fixins'. Located within 10 minutes of a large city. Not a town. A REAL CITY.)

And this process of "just looking," with two bored children in the backseat -- painful.

Here's a sample:

E-man: Daddy, are we there yet?

Cathy: Ha. We're still able to get a cell phone signal. No, sweetie, we're not there. If "there" is any further out than this, I am filing the divorce papers tomorrow. Or upping my medication.

E-man: I eat a booger! I eat a booger!

Tootie: Mommy, E-man's eating boogers!

Cathy: E-man, quit picking your nose.

E-man: I eat BOOGERS!

Cathy: [to Hubs] Can we go home yet?

E-man: Are we there? Are we there?

As we drove through an increasingly dense patch of woods yesterday, I tried to hide an episode of hyperventilation.

Oh my God, could we get any further from civilization? What's next, a two-room cabin?

Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply.

Just then, our daughter piped up from the backseat.

"Daddy, why do people live where there's not any grocery stores?"

I whooped.

My sweet, loyal little urban child.

20 comments:

flutter said...

amen for children who speak wisdom, I say.

Life As I Know It said...

We just moved from a small city to a small town. We can't walk to anything other than the circumference of our neighborhood, but I do love our trees and big yard.
Not sure I could go totally rural though. I need neighbors. So as not to go insane by just the company of two small children.
We've promised ourselves that once the kids are grown we'll get our little brownstone in the city again...

Maggie Ginsberg-Schutz said...

Out of the mouths of babes....

Sometimes I miss that uncensored honesty. It's so SMART. So what if you lose all your friends over it...

Family Adventure said...

Heh! Take THAT, hubby!

Heidi

carrie said...

You've got her in your corner! :)

Paige said...

Your daughter is so wise. Soooo wise.

Hilarious too.

Amie Adams said...

I share your vision for country living. Hope you win.

Beth Cotell said...

It's good to know you have someone on your side!

MadMad said...

What is it with men, always wanting "land" and "space?"

Anonymous said...

After the night I just had (picking porcupine quills out of my best friend's dog's face) I think I'm discovering an urban love.

Now if only I could convince my husband...

Crazed Nitwit said...

To me country is an acre of property surrounded by other residential acres. No cows or horses cuz they smell. If it ain't got digital cable, it ain't gonna be home.

Kellan said...

Oh, how funny. "My sweet, loyal little urban child" - so funny! It sounds wonderful - in a Little House On The Prairie sort of way - No? See you soon. Kellan

Misty DawnS said...

Oh my, remind me not to ask you to come to my place for a visit. Not because I don't like you - but, because I do like you LOL You'd freak out where I live.

Damselfly said...

No grocery stores mean you have to kill 'em and grill 'em.

S said...

heh. as a new york city girl born and bred, i totally identify with yours and your daughter's perspective.

snort.

Keeping It Real said...

Just think of all the hunting your hubs could do right out your back door. Then you could keep and cook what he kills.

You could be Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, or Jana of the Jungle, or.... awww screw it. I've been where he's trying to take you, and, not being one with nature myself, there's no way to make it sound pleasant.

Anonymous said...

My husband would be happy in a double wide (circa 1976) as long as there was acreage. Me? Not so much.

Unknown said...

awe that is sweet...and what did dear old daddy say back???

Anonymous said...

I love Tootie for saying that! I grew up in the middle of nowhere and have no idea why people live where there are no grocery stores. It remains a mystery. And I find all that quiet totally creepy and not relaxing in the least.

-andi

Anonymous said...

Yah for children and the stuff they say