A glimpse into my paranoid brain

This morning, I found an email from a childhood friend:

Subject: Dog poisoning -- never feed grapes to your dog!

My patient was a 56-pound, 5 yr old male neutered lab mix who ate half a canister of raisins sometime between 7:30 AM and 4:30 PM on Tuesday. He started with vomiting, diarrhea and shaking about 1 AM on Wednesday but the owner didn't call my emergency service until 7AM. I had heard somewhere about raisins AND grapes causing acute Renal failure but hadn't seen any formal paper on the subject.

The skeptical-journalist Cathy thought: Silly urban legend.

But then the easily freaked-out hypochondriac Cathy countered: Better Google this.

And I'll be damned if I didn't find a jillion articles on this subject, including this, from the one website I can count on to discredit scary emails:

Comments: Dog owners should heed this alert, which echoes a similar warning issued by the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center in 2002. Veterinarians are not sure why, but grapes and raisins have indeed proven poisonous to dogs in a significant number of cases reported over the past 15 years. Symptoms, which include vomiting, diarrhea, anorexia and lethargy, can last for days or weeks. Without prompt treatment, severe kidney damage and death may result.

And right as I was commending myself for never having fed my 13-year-old dog grapes, memories of the previous evening skidded through my mind:

Tootie and the E-man, on the deck with boxes of raisins, quite possibly hurling them over the railing to a hopeful Molly.

Immediately, I called Hubs.

Cathy: Hey, last night, when you were outside with the kids, did they give Molly any raisins?

Hubs: Ummm...

(After nearly six years of marriage, Hubs is well aware that such questions lead him into the danger zone. So he is always cautious in his reply.)

Hubs: No ... I don't remember seeing them trying to feed the dog.

Cathy, to herself: He is just pacifying me. For all I know, she ate a whole box and even now is on the brink of kidney failure.

Hubs: Why are you worried about the dog eating raisins?

Oh silly, silly man.

I am the woman who Cloroxed her yard after adopting a puppy from the Humane Society that arrived at my house with Parvo. (I was worried that any future dogs might catch the virus, which, according to my meticulous research, can live on surfaces, such as grass, for a YEAR.

I am the woman who called a vet one night after discovering that Molly had eaten -- gasp! -- CHOCOLATE.

I am the woman, who, in 1996, wrote a story for the Odessa American about how you should never feed your pets scraps from your table during the holidays. The article was stripped across the top of the front page on Thanksgiving Day. (Happy turkey-eating, dear readers. But first, let me tell you all about yakking dogs.)

How did I not ever hear about the deadliness of raisins?

I've spent the hours before and after work observing Molly for signs of renal failure.

Meanwhile, she's eaten a bowl of dog food and treated me with the canine disdain that a paranoid freak of an owner deserves.