Leaving town...

!!!

OK, really, I will miss my children dearly and ever so very badly.

But -- the prospect of uninterrupted sleep beckons...

I'm packing a bottle of Ambien, just to make sure that NOTHING, not even a partying crowd of obnoxious conference attendees (such as myself, of course) do NOT disturb even one single second of my snoozing time.

See, as a college freshman, I worked the front desk of a hotel. Ahh... the memories.

We used to eavesdrop on guests' phone conversations, field difficult questions from the suspicious spouses left behind at home, and witness the carryings-on of those in town for some alleged business reason or other.

And, oh, the ingratitude of these people. Hmmph. Really, if only they had realized the power I wielded.

"Howard? Room No. 122? Oh, he left about six hours ago with three teen-agers wearing micro-minis that revealed shocking taste in undies."

Once, a man approached the desk and orderd me to come out into the lobby.

"You have to see this to believe it," he kept saying, pointing toward his crotch.

Ummm... no thanks...?

Finally, because I was a stupid and curious young woman, I obliged.

His swim trunks, it seems, had been horribly bleached out by the hotel's hot tub. Even I had to wonder what sort of damage might have been done to Senor Wee-wee by the apparently over-exuberant use of chemicals.

I apologized profusely and left a note for the manager.

I still wonder what he thought upon reading this:

"Guest upset by destruction of swim trunks while sitting in our hot tub. Not sure whether physically damaged."

Ack.

Warm & fuzzy thought of the day: I can see biceps developing in my arms.

Bitch of the day: My ass is still easily my most noticed body part -- biceps or no biceps. Sigh...